notes from my mind/emotions1

Date: 17/12.2009

Emotion:confusion/distress

What is the problem/confusion?
-im confused
-i dont know who to like and dont like
-i feel like i want something but i dont know what it is
-i dont know how to stop things from happening ( things i know will complicate my life) when another part of me wants to
-i dont know how to make things happen
-i feel bound to my own...heart?/mind?/lust?/pity?/fear?(of losing friends)...
-...so i kind of know that im going to do something stupid in the near future

What do i need?
-to be alone
-love?
-to know what i really feel
-to clean my room

What should i do?
-dont get involved with anyone when confusion still is the state of mind
-DONT GET INVOLVED with anyone when confusion still is the state of mind
-make music
-nothing else

OBS: Im confused, not depressed, there's a huge difference.

English tomorrow

Im at the office. And trying to do things step by step. But I've already made a mistake. Hurray! But I won't surrender. It was not a big mistake, and I'm quite proud of myself that I realised what I'd done-and mabye, MAYBE am going to take care of it myself, withouts supervision from my boss.

Tomorrow we have a visitor from Vienna and I have to practise my "business-english". Before I embarrass myself.

Old times

Remember to always listen to your heart and make decisions. You heard right. MAKE DECISIONS. Don't just follow your own, same old track.
I dont want to get stuck anywhere.

And i miss my family. I live with them, but I dont LIVE with them. Sometimes we're on totally different stages in life, and almost never talk to each other. This weekend I'm going away to Gothenburg with my whole family. Im not bringing my cellphone. Im not going to be rude to my mum. And I'm not going to follow the old track. Im through with being rude (I'm always extra rude to them when i'm troubled and dont feel like talking, but i really DO feel like talking, i just dont understand my own feelings...which is stupid)

Actually, i am making ONE phonecall. I cant wait to talk to Liz.

Peace, everyone.

I am getting old

And im telling the truth. Right now i'm preparing for three different friends' birthday-presents á la Annelie. Im not sure what im doing. But im sure its gonna be good. Because i have had a lot and a lot of time, since ive been ill the whole week and more... Time, which, unfortunatly, i havent used for this matter. So, i've only got one day left to finish everything, that i almost hvent started yet,.

This is getting old

Ive been at home for seven.. SEVEN.. S-E-V-E-N days now and it's getting really really dull.

*i cant get started with my new job
*i cant do any exercise
*i cant go to my classes
*i cant go out
*i cant see my friends
(well yes i can see daniel because he's not afraid of getting ill)

Anyway. Im as bored as ever. I even told my sister, when she came home, that there was a monster in our house so she couldnt come in. I actually went outside, grabbing her arm running a few meters, just to prove that there was a monster in the house. Is that normal?

And this feeling is starting to sound like a PLAYED OUT RECORD

i love laundry

At least when it's done.
My head started to sing that old Nelly " It's gettin hott in herree" and i realised my temperature is higher again. It sucks. But the song is pretty nice, though.

You have to find it yourself if you want to hear it because i dont want it here. It reminds me of bad stuff like fever.

i changed my mind here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wR-ZV5KiVg

Chillin in a money-making mood

I'm still ill. My temperature is a bit lower, so i guess i'll be fine soon enough. I'm just sitting here and thinking about a lot of things. I'd rather work, but this is quite nice too, actually. I'm sorting my mind.
I will like..explode in energy when i finally get out of my house. Welcome to see the show.

peace.

ps. the text is dull, so im gonna spice it up with a song that...i was going to say "matches my mood" but i'm not sure about that. Well, something like that, anyway.